Today was the last day of Term 1 and I thought it is a good time for me to summarise what I did for the past days.
I visited The Esplanade to watched a short forum theatre play, 六点九 (Nine point six). 六点九 is a forum theatre play based on the stereotype thoughts about the culture in Singapore, especially how Singaporeans have a negative thinking about foreigners. I thought this play was entertaining yet it is something I should sympathised and think about when I come home. I won't explained further about this play as it may be sensitive to some people.
Lately, I have been feeling down due to the circumstances in school. Well... It isn't like three years ago. I would say the stuff that I have been doing is dampening my spirit. I felt like I wasn't appreciated, despite many commendations or praises. For example, I took two to three days gathering people's information and placed them into a spreadsheet for reference. I did sent the documents to the people (I won't reveal their identities) and guess what, this person forwarded the documents to another group of people and told them all the documents are included in the email. I was disappointed because I spent days gathering the information and was not given recognition.
There were people who will asked me what I have done for others, especially I dislike how they would do comparison by using and mentioning others similar to me. It is unfortunate I don't stand out like others and a person who is behind the scene usually isn't appreciated. Isn't it a let down?
I still remembered two years ago, there was a teacher who criticised me for not being like two other people. They were daring and were leaders by example. I will never forget how I feel when he said that right in front of my face. Till today, since Secondary One, this teacher hasn't changed an impression of me. I was still a person who didn't have the guts to be like them... Since Secondary One, I didn't changed. I will always feel down, no matter whether something good happened or whatsoever.
I still carry the feeling of being looked down, especially co-curricular activity. It is one of those days where you see no light till it ends three hours later. I may be surrounded by my members whom I treat them with respect, however there is always something which makes me sick and depressed. I don't wish to dwell this unhappiness I have been harbouring for a long time. Should they ever want to know about the unhappiness, they can always ask me.
This post was written with no intention to insult/criticise anyone. If they screenshot this post and sent via Whatsapp, then I am prepared for the consequences. I decided to come out with this post as a way to expressed my thoughts on certain issues. I am sorry if anyone I know read this got offended. I am truly sorry.
Crissie
13/3/2015, 10.51pm
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